MOVIE - 300
Starring Gerard Butler, Lena Heady, David Wenham
Directed By Zack Snyder (Warner Brothers)
Reviewed by Rusty Pipes

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Equal parts Sin City and Braveheart with a little Gladiator thrown in for spice, 300 is flashy and vivid as hell.

The first Hollywood epic about the battle of Thermopylae was the 300 Spartans in 1962. Hollywood glitzed it out in the kitschy style of that time, but this adaptation has Frank Miller's comic book as its source. It looks like it. Comic book artists are in love with muscles and splatter and Director Zack Synder made certain the movie followed Miller's lead.

This is not a bad thing, just don't mistake the graphic excesses for reality. It's true that the Spartans were the best fighters of their day and took army training to drastic limits, however, there are quite a few historical groaners in the movie too. Cavalry, rhinos, and elephants were not brought to bear at this battle. The Spartans themselves were heavily armored instead of fighting bare chested. Speaking of battle, the Athenian navy fought the Persian invasion also and ultimately stopped Xerxes at Salamis, but their exploits do not appear at all. There was no traitor in the Spartan Council. Most obvious though is the fact that the Persian army was not part monster and King Xerxes was not 7 foot tall with a jewelry fetish.

Gerard Butler as King Leonides gives a good performace, mostly righteous anger interspersed with a few inspirational speeches to his troops about freedom. Those seem to be yanked from a World War II era "Why We Fight" script. The freedom rhetoric falls flat though, because Sparta was not a democracy. In another aside Leonides accuses the Athenians of being "boy lovers" even though that was also accepted in Sparta. Later he decries the threat of Persia's "mysticism", and at his death he's laid out on the ground Christ-like with arms outstretched. It all seems like a comic book attempt at propoganda with an eye toward our current travails in the Middle East.

Still, Frank Miller's inspiration has ensured that 300 is a stylistic triumph. You will be transfixed by the stunning realization of its scenes but anything 300 has to say about real heroism has been gilded over.

The Skinny:
Did I enjoy the movie? I love T&A, tits and action.

Would I go to see it again? Only if there's no history exam afterwards.

© 2007 - Rusty Pipes