Ahhh, Christmas! That magical time of year when we share love, presents,
and our special musical tastes - both good and bad. Like those mounted
singing bass sold down at Wal-Mart, seasonal music is an acquired,
personal taste that says more about the listener than the actual music.
Always nosy, Ken Burke and Gary Pig Gold, flush with success from
their remarkably vitriolic Pat Boone Hall Of Fame poll, decided to ask their
many music-minded acquaintances the following questions.
1) Which seasonal / Christmas recording do you never tire of hearing?
What's special about it?
2) Which seasonal / Christmas recording irritates you?
Guess what they said?
Steve Lester of Wix Records:
1) That's easy. "Santa Claus is Back in Town" by Elvis Presley.
Seasonal or not, that sucker rocks! Who needs flying reindeer when you
can have a "big black Cadillac"! I also have to give der Bingle's
"Melekalikimaka" an honorable mention. It has such a hypnotic, ethereal
quality. I once listened to it twelve consecutive times with no intention
of stopping there until family members intervened.
2) I normally don't like to answer negatively slanted questions like
this. But in this case I'll make an exception: That Elmo and Patsy thing
was criminal!!!
Mack Stevens, Rollin' Rock recording artist:
1) Fuzzy thoughts...animal thoughts...my fave Christmas song is "Jingle
Bells," by those barking dogs. I don't 'member their names.
2) The most IRRITATING song about the Yule season is "We Three Kings" by
anydamnbody. They didn't mention me OR that Elvis guy.
John M. Borack of Goldmine magazine
1) Anything and everything off the "Yuletunes" CD (1991, Black Vinyl
Records). "A God of My Own" by 92 Degrees, "Christmasland" by The
Spongetones, "Merry Christmas Will Do" by Material Issue, "You Gave Me" by
Herb Eimerman... the possibilities on this disc are endless, I tell ya.
Every song is a gas, to paraphrase Brian Wilson.
2) "Ding Dong, Ding Dong" by George Harrison. Why? With lines like
"Tomorrow, today will be yesterday," you have to ask? My sweet lord...
Morley Bartnoff as Cosmo Topper
1) It's a tie between "Punk Rock Christmas" by Venus and The
Razorblades and "Christmas Rapture" by Blondie.
2) Hey! It's Christmas! No time to be irritated. Let's watch The
Charlie Brown Christmas Special one more time instead.
Dick Dale, King Of The Surf Guitar
1) "...chestnuts roasting on a Christmas fire...."
Irwin Chusid, most recently author of "Songs In The Key Of Z"
1) None.
2) All of them. I am Scrooge Number One when it comes to Xmas music. I
hate it, hate it, hate it -- and despise it most for its unavoidability.
For years friends and listeners have been mailing me clever cassettes and
CDRs of Xmas novelties …which I abhor even MORE! Nothing goes into the
nearest trashbin faster. Any candidate who promises to impose a permanent
moratorium on Xmas music gets my campaign dollars. Have I made this
clear?
Kevin Mathews, Touched by the Power of Pop
1) "Little Saint Nick." It's the Beach Boys, dammit!
2) Anything done by a boyband/jailbait diva, etc etc.
Chris Breetveld, full-time Breetle
1) "Christmas Wrapping" by Chris Butler: It's tha groove thang and it's
just so dang catchy.
2) All the rest, especially "Grandma Got Ran Over" ...because they are
boring.
Maryglenn McCombs of Dowling Press
1) I could never ever tire of Bruce Springsteen singing "Merry Christmas,
Baby."
2) I think just about every other Christmas song would qualify for that
other question. How could I pick just one? Hate to pick on the King, but
"Blue Christmas" is borderline abysmal ...please don't let me have that
song stuck in my head all day!!!
Al Muzer, New Jersey music journalist extrodinaire
1) Least and most favorite are one and the same: Don Charles Presents The
Singing Dogs' "Jingle Bells" b/w "Oh! Susanna." Led by tenor-bark Rex
with Spot, Fluffy and Brown Dog on backing yelps, yips, growls and howls,
The Singing Dogs add that little something extra to this oft-covered
holiday staple that elevates the tune to a whole new level. The group's
spirited reworking of Stephen Foster's "Oh! Susanna" in their
distinctive staccato 'n' growl style gives the tune the lonesome, high
plains spirit the author undoubtedly had in mind when composing it.
Despite a slew of records by such fly-by-night acts as The Meowing
Kitties, The Oinking Pigs, Bessie and the Barn Animals, The Black Sheep,
and a first-rate reissue from the genre's original war horse, Mr. Ed,
The Singing Dogs remain the true masters of the singing animals idiom.

Pete Green, the atheist Ghost Rocket
1) None.
2) All of them. No matter who it is. The commercialization of this
most religious of holidays sickens me. Any person who would take
advantage of this time of year is pretty scummy. Hence it's no surprise
that self proclaimed artists such as Kathie Lee Gifford and Celine Dion
work their fingers to the bone promoting their "very special Christmas"
album. The truly sad part is that people actually buy that crap. I could
also include the teeny boppers in my list (Backstreet Boys, N'sync, 98
Per Cent etc.), but I give them some slack. It's their greedy managers and
producers who exploit the Christmas holiday, not the boys in the band.
I'm not saying they too are not greedy sons-a-bitches, but they all seem
to have this haze of stupidity over their eyes. They seem like the type
of naive kids who'd eat a lump of shit if their producers told them it'd
make 'em a buck. Britney Spears, however, I think is fully responsible
for the degradation of the holiday in her fans' eyes. It is my opinion,
that this once carefully molded and controlled vocalizer, is now in
complete control of her own career. She knows exactly what she's doing.
Did you see the MTV awards? Neither did I, but you heard what she did,
right? She's brilliant. When she's too old and saggy to shake that thang
on MTV, she'll make an excellent PR woman. I digress. When it comes to
pop music, we're talking about a young demographic. When it comes to
Christmas albums, we're talking exploitation. And while I could continue
to point the finger at bands and managers for exploiting the "giving"
spirit of Christmas, ultimately it's up to the parents of that young, CD
buying demographic to teach their children what this holiday is really all
about, and why their child's "favorite band in the whole world" sucks.
Put the Christ back into Christmas, please!

Mick Hargreaves, the SURFING Ghost Rocket
1) "Christmas Wrapping" by The Waitresses. EXCELLENT bass line and, just
like "Strawberry Fields," it has a lyric about cranberry sauce.
2) That one by Bruce Springsteen, and, not that I need a reason, but one
reason is because there's a vocal part by almost-N.Y. Jet Clarence
Clemons.

Lee "Sound Views," of the zine of the same name (and now the cool new Dead
Flowers website too)
1) "Run Rudolph Run"! I also like the Bowie'n'Bing take on "Little
Drummer Boy" as it's so damn weird. This year if ANY Christmas song gets
play around my pad it'll be Bob Seger and the Last Herd's "Sock It To Me
Santa," or Tiny Tim's "Santa Claus (Has Got The Aids)."
2) Most of 'em, as we are mercilessly bombarded by 'em for a good month
or so.

Mr. Mike, of Orange County, California's one and only SparkleJets U.K.
1) The first Johnny Mathis Christmas album. The one where he's got the
skis in one hand and the ski poles in the other. It just wouldn't be
Christmas to me without it. It's one of many we'd play in our house when
I was a kid and was always our family favorite. Still is. A perfect mix
of joy, beauty, wonderment, a really nice string section, and a nice echo
chamber. A few runners up would be the one by The Lettermen, and of
course the amazing one by The Beach Boys, that had I knew it as a child
would probably be my Number One. Let's also not forget Martin Newell's
"Christmas in Suburbia" which although it's not traditional (or even
positive) is very, very evocative. Plus, Mr. Newell LOOKS like Christmas.
Harry Belafonte made some great records too.
2) Anything with ROCK 'N' ROLL on it, especially that Jimmy Iovine
"Very Special Christmas" crap. YUCK! Christmas should always remind you
of how great it was to be a kid, so I like to surround myself with
nostalgic warm fuzzy things at Christmas time. Isn't that why we all do
it? Those old records are the soundtrack of those times, and I think they
nail the feeling of it. The 50's, in my opinion, WERE Christmas:
cookies and parties and lights around the house. We don't get snow in
California so we have to drum up the spirit with choice tuneage. The more
traditional the better at my house. I love those old background singers
too. Wow.

Lord Litter, singer / songwriter / international DJ
1) VERY easy to answer: It's "Bluegrass Christmas" by Haywire (Gene
Parsons on guitar, banjo). The only Christmas recording ever really
TALKING to me. Didn't even like Roy Wood's Christmas tunes or Slade's
monster smash "Merry Christmas Everybody." "Bluegrass Christmas"
definitely captures best the real spirit of "nature, peace, a silent
night." This is pure, this is real, PEACE. Can't praise this enough !!!
2) All others. None of them recaptures the SPIRIT.

Tom Vincent, currently leading the guitar in Hoboken, NJ's Big Galoots
y'alternative country-rockers:
1) NRBQ's "Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas" (not even sure of the name.)
What's special about it? Don't know, but I've put it on in July and
still enjoyed listening to it.
2) "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer." Why? Back when you could get
dollar draft beers at happy hour at the Lone Star Café, one of the local
news shows was taping this guy for a segment. He ran through that fucking
song 15 or 16 times and no amount of dollar beers could ease the pain.
And thanks to state-dependent learning effects I can sing the whole damn
thing after a few drinks. It's in my head right now. SHIT. SHIT.

Chris Chinchilla, former Mike Love of the only (authorized) Canadian Beach
Boy clone combo Endless Summer (est. 1985)
1) "What Child Is This," set to the ancient "Greensleeves," when sung
softly and tenderly, in a slow waltz, maybe played on a harpsichord, maybe
a bit of flute, with a bit of Rubato, building in volume in the second
half of the verse. Never leaves a dry eye in the house ...including yours
truly. (Try singing it to your gals, guys, and your "X"mas will be very
merry I predict.)
2) "Here Comes Santa Claus." I personally get a nauseous feeling in the
pit of my stomach whenever I hear this song. To me the melody and overly
chirpy bounciness of this song is especially aggravating during the busy
Christmas season. It's like one of those PR type people, who say "GREAT!"
no matter what you ask them. Also, mixing God and Santa in the same
rhyming couplet is a bit too much for this existentialist. "Let's give
thanks to the Lord our God, 'cuz Santa Clause comes tonight" (ugh)

Bill Lloyd, formerly of Foster & Lloyd and currently SO much more:
1) Fave Christmas song would have to be "The Christmas Song" written by
Mel Torme. Even though Alex Chilton did a nice rendition, Nat King Cole's
version is flawless.
2) "The Twelve Days of Christmas" comes to mind as being one of the most
irritating holiday classics. It reminds me of "100 Bottles of Beer On the
Wall."

Bruce "Mole" Mowat, father of Hamilton, Ontario, Canada rock journalism:
1) The Big Star version of "Jesus Christ." Shimmers without a trace of
guile …unlike the "Bach's Bottom" version.
2) Anything jazz-ish by Perry Como: reminders of why rock 'n' roll was
necessary in the '50s.

Elizabeth Walsh, bassist and cruise director for Una Pong:
1) "Blue Christmas," as sung by Elvis Presley. Oh wow - the song is
terrific, the performance is great, the arrangement is just goopy enough
without going over board. Second place goes to that Chipmunk Christmas
song, mainly because it's the only Christmas carol with the word "hula
hoop" in it.
I had the single when I was five, and used to play it over and over and
over
and over; I think my parents burned it.
2) Those dogs singing "Jingle Bells." Cute for the first ten seconds --
fiendishly irritating thereafter. I think they're the ones who told David
Berkowitz to go out and kill people.

Robert Barry Francos, founding editor of the legendary Ffanzeen fanzine
(est. 1978)
1) Favorite? "A Christmas Carol," by Tom Lerher: "Christmas time is here
by golly, Disapproval would be folly, Deck the halls with hunks of holly,
Fill the cup and don't say when, Murder ducks, geese and chickens, It's
time to roll out the Dickens, Even though the prospect sickens, Brother,
Here we go again. At Christmas time you can't get sore, Your fellow man
you must adore, There's time to rob him all the more, The other 364.
Relations sparing no expense will, Give some useless old utensil, Or a
matching pen and pencil, "Just the thing I need, how nice." It doesn't
matter how sincere it is, Or how heartfelt the spirit, Sentiment will not
endear it, What's important is... the price. "Hark the Herald Tribute"
sing, Telling sales of wonderous things." "God rest ye merry merchants,
May you make the Yuletime pay. Angels we have heard on high/Tell us to go
out and buy." So, let the raucous sleighbells jingle, Here comes our good
friend, Kris Kringle, Dashing his reindeer across the sky ...Don't stand
underneath when they fly by.
2) Least favorite: "Little Drummer Boy," especially the Bowie/Crosby
version. Yeeeeeeeeeeeccccccccckkkkkkkkk.

Betsy Palmer, ever-devoted promo vixen of Bomp! Records USA:
1) It's a tie: Johnny Mathis and Elvis ...reminds me of Mom.
2) "Sing Along With Mitch Miller" ...reminds me of Mom.

Dale Hawkins, oh "Suzie Q"!!
1) "White Christmas." What's special about it? Clyde McPhatter and The
Drifters, with Clyde doing the high vocals ("I Y I Y Y Y Y Y'm dreaming
of a white Christmas.")
2) I really can't think of any! Why? IT'S CHRISTMAS!

Wanda Jackson, the Queen of Rockabilly
1) Anne Murray's "Christmas Wishes." I have "Merry Christmas From
Elvis" is what I have. George Strait's "Merry Christmas Strait To You."
Kenny G, I love his Christmas album. I love choir groups.
2) I think it's wonderful that they play the Christmas music, and
sometimes I'm fearful that they'll stop – things have become so
secular. I'm a Christian and I'd like to hear more of the songs about
Christ, which is what Christmas is all about. All I hear is "Frosty,"
"Rudolph" and all that stuff.

James Richard Oliver of Illbilly Records
1) Elvis doing "Blue Christmas." My mom used to put that record on every
Christmas. It wasn't officially Christmas 'til we heard it. My
sister and I would do our little mock-Elvis lip quivering, but we loved it
just as much as she did. I think about her whenever I hear it.
2) I'd have to say that's a ties between those damn dogs barking
"Jingle Bells" and that godforsaken "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer."
I'm not sure exactly who's responsible for either one, but they should
be punished. They should have to work in a mall the two weeks before
Christmas while constantly listening to each other's song.
David Wheatley, the artist currently known as Daza
1) Jimi Hendrix, "Silent Night." His version pulls out the pain of
entire year leading up to Christmas before you get to the silent night.
Kind of like life, with one moment of peace to look forward to. I dig the
pain; lets it out.
2) Any song pretending that there is anything "nice" and "sweet" about
Jesus. I hate cute, and cute worship propaganda is irritating.

John Mars, members.aol.com/bluestar55/johnmars.html
1) If it was a single recording, I'd have to say Canned Heat and the
Chipmunks' historic summit meeting "The Chipmunk Song" b/w "Christmas
Boogie," as it's very, very funny. It's sure to enthrall everyone, young
and old. If it was an album it'd be "A Christmas Present ...And Past" by
Paul Revere And The Raiders. That album comes from around the time of
their "Revolution" album, which was one of those great peaks in the
Raiders' history. So, it's that line-up of the band with Joe Jr.,
Freddy Weller and Charlie Coe. Mark Lindsay and Terry Melcher wrote
almost all the songs on that one which is nice, because most Christmas
albums are just cliches, but the Raiders' lp is a true original. It's
good for a special evening by the fireside, or for play during family
dinner. It sets a real nice atmosphere.
2) Well, I do sometimes get kind of tired of hearing ANY version of "A
Little Drummer Boy," including that one with Bing and Bowie. My dad
always groans when any take of that number comes on the radio. Even the
Joan Jett attempt bugs me. It's one of those numbers that you've just
heard way too many times, I guess.
Steven Rappaport, genius behind the 1963 Top Twenty smash "The Martian
Hop" by the legendary RanDells!
1) "Jingle Bell Rock," the Bobby Helms version. Great song, great
vocalist for the song, very happy. The bridge works terrifically - I like
the change from major (What a bright time) to minor (It's the right time)
and back to major (To rock the night away). Next time around it goes to a
7th (Is a swell time). It's harmonically great. But it's the happy sound
that really makes the song for me. "Rockin Around the Christmas Tree,"
Brenda Lee. Anything Little Miss Dynamite sang was OK with me. Killer
voice. But I also liked what I think are steel guitar riffs. "White
Christmas," Darlene Love. Phil Spector production, totally original
arrangement, great voice. Best second version of the song: The Drifters.
2) Worst Christmas record: by far, The Royal Guardsmens' "Snoopy's
Christmas." Also, I hate to say it, but Roy Orbison's "Pretty Paper" is
yucky, as is Vic Dana's "Little Alter Boy." Gag me with a reindeer.
Gene Sculatti of Billboard magazine:
1) I guess anything off Bobby Darin's "25th Day Of December" album
("Child Of God" was the single) or the Four Seasons' version of "Santa
Claus Is Coming To Town" are the ones I never tire of hearing ...but then
I'm the only one who plays 'em, so I guess it makes sense. Their
specialness, I suppose, is that they both come from back in my day and
that, in the long lost way only early-60s pop can, they each "rock."
2) Can't really think of which seasonal song tires me (it's not that I
love 'em all; rather, nothing really riles).
Alan Clayson, chansonnier, pop historian and erstwhile leader of Clayson
and the Argonauts:
1) "The Moonlight Skater" by Alan Clayson. Because a recent remake (with
a new arrangement and a specially composed bridge section) would satisfy
every qualification of a Christmas Number One if issued in time for the
December sell-in when the usual chart rues don't apply, and you can get
away with the ravages of middle age. Over the past ten years, it's been
covered by Dave Berry, Jane Relf, and Stairway.
2) "Happy Christmas (War Is Over)" by John and Yoko, because, regardless
of the time of year and its worthy sentiment, I hate it for the same
intangible reasons as I hate "I Got You Babe" (Sonny and Cher) and "March
Of The Mods" (Joe Loss). The fault for this is probably mine entirely.
Marti Brom, Goofin' Records rockabilly queen:
1) Well you asked about a subject I just love. I've sort of a thing for
old Christmas records. I've got everything from Dean Martin, Frank
Sinatra, Brenda Lee, Gene Autry, Patti Page, Tennessee Ernie Ford, Elvis,
Charo, and the list goes on. I also have a stack of compilation LPs. I
usually start playing them in June, but that kinda confused my four year
old. I guess, though, my all time favorite would have to be Bing Crosby
singing Irving Berlin's "White Christmas." But mostly I miss those Bing
Crosby Christmas Specials. The year that Bing Crosby dueted on "Little
Drummer Boy" was especially neat, because it was the first time my Dad
acknowledged that David Bowie had talent.
2) The Chipmunks singing Christmas songs, or any songs for that matter,
I'd say irritates me the most. I hate it when rodents try to sing!
Beverly Paterson of Twist And Shake magazine:
1) I never tire of hearing "Snoopy's Christmas" by The Royal Guardsmen.
It brings back good memories of when I was younger than yesterday and
besides, it IS The Royal Guardsmen. That alone qualifies for a classic of
any stripe!
2) "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" irritates the egg nog out of me.
It isn't even funny. An insult to our kindly grandmothers and those
groovy reindeers that make things happen!
Johnny Dowd, whose latest and greatest album, "Temporary Shelter," will be
out come February on Koch Records:
1) "Little Drummer Boy." Great drumming.
2.) "Jingle Bell Rock." I don't think you should mix rock 'n' roll and
Christmas.
John Sinclair, managing editor, Blues Access magazine:
1) Man, what a question! You might not know that I'm a R&B Christmas
record fanatic. I play six to nine hours' worth of Christmas songs
every year during the month of December on my Blues And Roots show, and
another six hours or so of Crescent City Christmas carols on my New
Orleans Music Show. So it's not fair to ask for ONE record! I'd have to
select TWO versions of "White Christmas": Clyde McPhatter and the
Drifters', of course, and the live version by Charlie Parker recorded at
the Royal Roost on Christmas Eve 1948. These are special because they
sound so fucking good! And they represent the apotheosis of
African-American vernacular irony: "White Christmas," indeed!
2) I can't think of an irritating record because, well, I'm just too old
to listen to music that irritates me ...and here in New Orleans, I simply
don't have to. Happy Holidays!
Prewitt Rose of SRO Records (and discoverer of Ral Donner!):
1) My favorite Christmas song is whatever you say it is! Why? How would
I know? I don't even know what my favorite song is yet until I read about
it in whatever publication you so desire. Ditto for the Christmas song I
dislike most!
2) Sure, quote me! Anything you or Gary Pig say I said is plenty good
enough for me! Hey, YOU guys are the writers, not me. (I hate Pat Boone's
Christmas song about the little green Christmas tree. I've got a 45 rpm
copy of that piece of trash somewhere in the cellar. It's a cellar
dweller!)
Inaki Orbezua, Editor, Otono Cheyenne Magazine:
1) Basically, there are two Christmas recordings that I never tire of
hearing, year after year, and those are Spector's Christmas album (an
obvious one I know, but I just love this one record so much ...and because
it's like the first concept album in the Pop era, and I kinda like concept
albums) and the second one is by a Spanish singer by the name of Raphael:
his classic "Four Christmas Songs" EP (an excellent version of "The Little
Drummer Boy" in Spanish) from the mid-60's will never be absent from my
turntable on Christmas time. This guy is still singing today, he must be
around 55-50 years old, and is now singing on the Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
musical here in Spain. He's awesome!!!
2) I could name quite a few Spanish artists that make horrible Christmas
music, but then again when I think of people like Michael Bolton and
Mariah Carey doing those IRRITATING Christmas albums... then I wish it was
summer again!
Paul Autry, editor, Half Creeper magazine:
1) Don't know the title of it, but my favorite Christmas album is the one
by "Dr. Dirty" John Valdy. I never tire of that album and, it might also
have the pleasure of being the most annoying Christmas album as well
- especially since my wife totally hates it. She's not one for filthy,
crude and obscene Christmas songs, and what really annoys her is the fact
that our children walk around the house singing "Jingle Balls!"
2) Even though I have the 45 (record...might be worth something!), I
think the most annoying holiday song is "Grandma Got Run Over By A
Reindeer." That song's retarded.
Toby Ward, ex-drummist / full-time music junkie:
1) My favorite Christmas record is "Wipe Out" by The Surfaris. There's
just something about a good drum solo that I consider to be holy.
2) The Christmas record that irritates me the most is "Who Let The Dogs
Out" by the Baja Men. It's being played everywhere right now, so I
assume it's a Christmas song, and it's just too religious for my
tastes.
Tom Beaujour, executive editor, Revolver magazine:
1) "Father Christmas" by The Kinks: not just a good Christmas song, but a
great song period. Sounds even better in July.
2) That John Lennon "War is over" song makes my ass ache.
Jeffrey Glenn of The Retros:
1) I've loved The Royal Guardsmens' "Snoopy's Christmas" since I first
heard the original 45 in 1968. A great, anthemic (and very catchy) chorus
with nice use of bells and horns and the kind of harmonies that it seems
every band could pull off in the Sixties at will (but which precious few
seem to be able to now) make this a very memorable song for me. Of course
the "asking peace of all the world and goodwill to man" sentiment is
universal, and the related anti-war subtext works because it's not
directly stated (although I wouldn't have caught that at the time - I was
only been nine). I just love it! I also really love "Christmas Wish" by
NRBQ.
2) This is easy! "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" (by Elmo & Patsy,
of course) has got to be the most crass, stupid, and downright
unlistenable abominations ever to hit the Christmas airwaves! Talk about
appealing to the lowest common denominator! It makes you feel inbred just
listening to it! Naturally, it's one of the most played Christmas songs
now. Go figure.
Tony Wilkinson of American Music magazine:
1) The Phil Spector Christmas Album, which is just the wonderful
masterpiece of how to capture the feel good spirit of Christmas, "'Twas
The Night Before Christmas" by Huey Piano Smith and the Clowns, which is
sheer rockin' fun to listen to, and "Christmas With Tammy Wynette," in
which Tammy pours her heart and soul and the quality/feeling with which
she sings the songs is simply awe inspiring. Lastly, it has to be
"Christmas with Elvis": his voice and emotive singing were never in
grater shape. From this comes my all time favorite Christmas track,
"Santa Claus Is Back In Town." This track is full of absolute raunch and
grind, and the lavish expression in the curl and sneer of his singing
leaves one in no doubt what this Santa is coming down your chimney after.
Pure excitement.
2) As to the most duff Christmas track, there are several and one of the
paramount selections has to be "The Chipmunk Song" by Canned Heat and The
Chipmunks: just a sheer travesty and pure waste. However, my choice as
the worse all-time Christmas recording has to be "A Not So Merry
Christmas" by Bobby Vee. Apart from bearing a remarkable similarity to
"Run To Him," the sheer wimpness of the cut is breathtaking. It is
bury-your-head-under-the-pillow time and blot-out-the-world time, if one
has the misfortune to be in audible range when this played. Excruciating,
to put it mildly.
Shane Faubert of To M'Lou Music:
1) There seems to have been a Christmas song by Kenny Laguna that I heard
once, really liked and never heard again (was it a dream?) but we won't
count that. "Little Drummer Boy" by Joan Jett is my favorite of the songs
I actually hear on commercial radio, but the Christmas song I love the
most is (of course?) "I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday" by Wizzard.
It has a great melody, but what I really LOVE about it is the fact that it
is so incredibly messy. You can't get tired of it because you can never
hear it all... lots of layers and swirls. Nutty and perfect.
2) The David Bowie/Bing Crosby duet of "Little Drummer Boy/Peace on
Earth" is pretty bothersome. Reminded us that David Bowie really WAS
Anthony Newley's successor after all.
Rockin' Ronny Weiser of Rollin' Rock Records:
1) "Santa Claus Is Back In Town," "Santa Bring My Baby Back To Me," "Blue
Christmas": all three by ELVIS. Also, I would like to hear more Hannukah
songs!!
2) Many of the others, especially the archaic European sounding stuff.
It's annoying to hear it over and over. I'm an American and I generally
prefer American music!
Lisa Mychols of The Masticators:
1) Well, it used to be "Do You Hear What I Hear" until "We Are The World"
came out and got completely overplayed! Burned me out on what WAS my fave
Christmas song! Now it is "What Child Is This!" Again... "Greensleeves"?
The melody is all about chills, and it is constantly moving like a
rollercoaster! It's graceful and powerful.
2) "Blue Christmas" ...sorry to all ye Elvis Fans, but that background
part really bothers me! Always has. My mom would play that album and I
would hold my hands over my ears and run around the house holding my
breath. Why holding my breath, I don't know. I was a little weird too.
Tammy Ferranti of Tammy and the Lords of Misrule:
1) Hmmm... "What Child is This?" because the melody comes from the
traditional "Greensleeves," one of my favorite tunes in 3/4 waltz time.
It is also fun tune to try and play in 4/4 by the way! Try it.
2) "I'm Gettin' Nuthin' for Christmas," because when I was a child my
parents would sing this song whenever I misbehaved -- especially when
Christmastime was approaching. "I'm gettin' nuthin' for Christmas. Mommy
and Daddy are mad. I'm gettin' nuthin' for Christmas. 'Cause I aint been
nuthin' but bad." (God, who did this song anyway? It wasn't Soupy Sales
was it??? And what about that other awful song? "All I Want For
Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth.")
Marty Wombacher, editor, Fishwrap magazine:
1) "Helter Skelter." That song always makes me think of Christmas ...and
also of chopped up impregnated actresses.
2) "The Twelve Days Of Christmas." Hello? Christmas is only one day
long. Like, DUH!!
Bob Brainen, WFMU-FM DJ and one actual Breetle as well:
1) Fave: "Christmastime Is Here" by Vince Guaraldi (from "A Charlie Brown
Christmas"?) NRBQ do this song live with a worldess vocal,
"duh-duh-duh....":
just lovely.
2) Least fave: MOST Christmas songs.
Lach, Father of the NYC anti-folk scene, and current proprietor of
Fortified Records as well:
1) "Blue Christmas" is the first to come to mind. Elvis still had a
little bit of the other-wordly unknown radio sound. It's embracing and
lonesome at the same time. I also like the Joni Mitchell "Comin' On
Christmas" from the "Blue" album. Hell, I just like sad Christmas songs.
2) Maybe Bruce's. It was fun the first year but now it's got a ton of
Corporation radio fucking it up the ass.
Mark Johnson, whose 1992 "12 in a room" album all but kick-started the
entire Pop music renaissance:
1) "The Chipmunk Song." Why? Because "we can hardly stand the wait"
always sounded like "we've been hoggish and 'go wayne' (my best friend's
name at the time was Wayne) ...that's all that mistaken rock lyric stuff
I'm into. But REALLY, FOLKS...what a record! Really: it was Number One,
original, and a great melody. I don't hear it enough at Christmas time!
The B-side was a song called "Almost Good," or that may have been the
B-side to Alvin's orchestra. Let's hear it for David Seville. HE WAS
IN REAR WINDOW!!! Played a frustrated songwriter!
2) I tire most of modern attempts to put over Christmas music by people
who just think it's good to do for their careers and do bad things the
rest of the year. You can always tell who they might be.
Linda Gail Lewis, Jerry Lee's sister and Van Morrison's current
singing partner:
1) I think it's Nat King Cole's "Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire."
There's just something about that song; his voice is so beautiful and
the song is so beautiful. It reminds me of being at home on Christmas and
being with my parents; they're deceased now. It reminds me of that
time in my life when me and my brother, my sister, and my parents were all
together.
2) I'm such a big Christmas person and I love Christmas music so much,
I don't even know if there's one that exists like that. I get so in
to all that. I was talking to Van about it the other night and he was
saying how he dreads this time of year and I'm saying, "Oh, it's the
greatest thing in the world! We can watch Scrooge and "Miracle On 34th
Street." I love all that stuff so much. The biggest speeding ticket I
ever got came when I was driving my kids back from somewhere one night and
we were singing Christmas carols. I was making like 90 miles an hour, I
kept going faster and faster because the carols were getting faster and
faster. I talked that highway patrolman into giving me a ticket that said
I was making 75 or something, or else they would've taken my insurance
away. I said, "I was singing Christmas carols, please don't do this to
me." The Singing Cats are the only thing. My husband's niece has that
damned recording and I don't like her anyway – and you can quote me on
that. Some times we have to get together with her because it's one of
those things you have to do, and that bitch will put that damned thing on.
It's horrible: "Meow meow meow, meow meow meow, meow meow meow..."
It's really bad.
J.R. Taylor, writer for the esteemed New York Press and Playboy.com:
1) With the citizens of Whoville about to be made villains in a
big-screen travesty, it seems more important than ever to celebrate
"Welcome Christmas" from "How The Grinch Stole Christmas." The Waitress'
"Christmas Wrapping" is also way overdue to be animated as a Christmas
special. But my personal favorite Christmas moment remains "Merry
Christmas, Neighbor" by the cast of "Bonanza." This song truly captures
the warmth of the holiday. The Cartwrights always had a real sense of
neighborly love ...even though their ranch took up most of the county.
2) As for the worst, it's easily The Pogues doing "Fairytale of New York"
("featuring Kristy MacColl," of course, as a million pop geeks immediately
proclaim). What a lame and safe excuse for Christmas sentimentality.
Naturally, college radio continues to embrace the song as a hipster
holiday classic.
(C) 2000 - Gary "Pig" Gold