Old Wounds

It was a chance meeting. I was finally back in LAX after a five day trip to Atlanta last month. I had recovered my bags and amazingly found a shuttle to San Pedro in short order. I got on with two other people. The one blond haired man inside was polite enough to move over to make some room.

Nobody said much as we pulled out of the airport, I was fighting a cold and mostly focused on getting home. After a time the first man asked where we had flown in from. The people in back said they had flown in from Munich, I said I was coming back from a trade show in Atlanta. Then I made a comment about the show being great, the city was nice but that they had to do something about their baseball team, which had fallen behind three games to none in the World Series at that point. The blond man replied he was happy to see the Braves lose. "Why?" I asked. "Because I can't stand anything that's associated with Jane Fonda," he replied.

Jane Fonda, of course, is the wife of Ted Turner, who owns the Braves. The same Ted Turner who gave a billion dollars to the United Nations. I don't know about you but that got him a lot of points in my book. Anyway, he said Jane, not Ted. I couldn't believe he was still upset over that trip to Hanoi after all these years, so I asked what was so bad about her. I was a bit surprised to hear that was indeed the reason.

At the height of her acting career, Jane Fonda took a trip to Hanoi by a circuitous route when it was illegal to do so, all to try to end the war in Vietnam. The man in our van still saw it as cozying up to the North Vietnamese at a time when American men were being tortured in the North's POW camps. But even the most famous of those prisoners, Senator John McCain, long ago mended fences with Vietnam. About the only Republican Presidential wanna-be I respect, he even spearheaded the recent normalization of relations with them. Thinking about things like that, I held up my watch as if to check the time and quipped, "Last I looked, Jane's trip was more than twenty-five years ago. The war's over."

I didn't mean to be overly sarcastic, but I had succeeded in rubbing salt in an old wound. "I took a bullet in Vietnam," he said. A real wound. I felt callous and stupid. He began pouring out old frustrations. How he and his fellow soldiers sacrificed. How traitorous Fonda's actions had been.

Perhaps. But Vietnam was far from a righteous crusade. Lots of people thought that war was wrong. Even our veteran half-heartedly agreed that it was a lousy war at one point in the conversation. Then I told him that I had been a conscientious objector during the war, adding, "Not much good comes out of the barrel of a gun."

I had hit another nerve. "You are so wrong," he said. "My father and grandfather fought to defend this country." It was like hearing Nicholson's "You can't handle the truth!" speech in A Few Good Men. "How can you live with yourself?" he demanded. About that time the van's driver jumped in and told us to tone it down.

I sat back in thought. Indeed, so many have fought and died for the things we take for granted daily. Soldiers won our rights in the American Revolution, they ended slavery in the Civil War, they stopped the Nazis in World War II. But the reasons for fighting lots of other wars have not been so clear cut. Certainly Vietnam falls into that category, then there's The Spanish American War, even World War I has such murky beginnings I can't begin to tell you why it started in one sentence, much less why Americans had to die over there.

But soldiers aren't allowed to question, they must do as ordered. That's why it's so important to get involved and elect reasonable leaders, not ideologues. Leaders who are slow to order men into harm's way. Leaders who, in a forest of conflicts, can recognize real threats that need military force as opposed to others that can be solved without resorting to war. Blood is a terrible thing to waste.

Since the Gulf War we have been given the thankless job of World Policemen, with the impossible standard of zero casualties among our troops and zero collateral damage -- that's government-speak for dead innocents caught in the crossfire of warring groups. Politicians hate having to explain things like that, but their discomfort is the least of the problems. People remember those deaths, especially those of the innocents, revenge motives grow and war blooms anew. Forgiveness is hard when entire peoples have to do it.

I don't ever think we'll get it right in my lifetime, and I remain a conscientious objector to war in general, but I can still see many reasons why its wise to have soldiers here and now. Greedy bullies too often head rogue armies in this world. They love to prey on the weak and greater military force is the only thing they respect. We learned the limits of that respect this spring in Kosovo though. We had to start bombing for real instead of just threatening. But in general we've had to do this far less in the last few years. South Africa made a tricky transition to majority rule without civil war, Ireland and Israel painfully inch closer to a lasting peace, East Timor is calmer than a month ago with international help. The worst recent conflict has been the ongoing strife in Chechnya, but miraculously, the Iron Curtain fell and the USSR dissolved without throwing nukes around. Perhaps we can claim a small measure of progress as the 20th Century closes.

When the veteran got off the van, I told him I was sorry he had been wounded, but not all wars are created equal. Vietnam was something I couldn't support, but I probably would have fought a Hitler or a Stalin. We were able to shake hands at least.

There comes a time to release our grip on ancient hatreds, on religious differences and on ethnic divides too. Even on hatred of Hanoi Jane and the former commanders of North Vietnam. With six billion on this finite planet now, we've got to become better at talking things out. If we work at it, one day we may finally salute our veterans in celebration of the final victory over war itself.

And then maybe the Braves can blow the World Series in peace. Thanks for reading and until next month the Closet is closed.


(C) 1999 Rusty Pipes

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OFFICIAL DISCLAIMER: Jane may be getting on in years, but hey, she's still hot, doncha think? OUCH! HEY! Okay, our lawyers have just reminded me that I'm here to tell you the opinions expressed in, um... man, she's looking fine... OW!! The opinions expressed in this column do not necessarily match up note for note with the opinions of the publisher or editors of Cosmik Breasts. DEBRIS!! OW!!! STOP IT!!!

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OFFICIAL DISCLAIMER OF DISCLAIMER: The pig who wrote the original disclaimer has been put on administrative leave. We apologize for any offense you may have taken to his sexist leering. We've also arranged to have him see a shrink because, frankly, we think Jane's lookin' pretty rocky these days.

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OFFICIAL DISCLAIMER OF DISCLAIMER'S DISCLAIMER: Look, we're sorry for everything. Please don't sue us. Amen.