Buy Now...Saved Later (V2)

Reviewed by Jason Thornberry

My step-dad, Keith, borrowed this CD the other day, and then hastily returned it, as though he accidentally stole a turd from me, thinking it was a chocolate donut. He stuck a Post-It note on the front of the album, saying 'kinda Rage rip off!'

That's putting it graciously, Keef. This is such a massive style-heist, and waste of V2's currency, that I'm almost woozy from listening to it. The opening track "Rise and Shine" is some Rage Against the Linoleum re-hash that is so shamelessly transparent that even someone like me, who only knows the songs by Zack & Co. he hears in elevators, now can tell precisely what is gonna happen in the next twelve seconds.

Okay! You're a band. You're short on ideas and panache, but you love Korn, Papa Roach, and P.O.D., et al. Singer-guy: Have a little mantra-like phrase you repeat over and over and over, as your song builds in power. Make the slogan short though. Political is g-o-o-d. Rage makes quite a $ being faux-concerned (while the singer is from affluent Orange County, California). Instead of saying "Let's keep Tibet free from the oppressive dictatorship of the Communist regime," make it more open-ended. Make it so that a larger segment of the already disenchanted 16-year old American population can relate to what you're professing. Like, "My God, it's Good to See Ya." Say that over and over a few times while the bassist plunks away at this beady-eyed little riff. Then reach this orgy of rawk-power with a barre-chord climax, and make those kids know that deep down, you don't really want any money for what you do. Unless your CD sells as much as Gimp Bizkit, you will be a broke radical.tunesmith. Just like Rage oughtta be! Then they'd have something to really be pissed about!

"It sucks growing up in Tustin! I'm gonna sing about the rebels in Chiapas, and act like I care! As soon as I pull my drained cock outta this groupie's ass, I'll do something about it too!"


© 2002 - Jason Thornberry