THE NATIONAL ACROBAT
...For All Practical Purposes Is DEAD (Arise)
Reviewed by Jason Thornberry

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More shouty, discordant metal, reminiscent of Refused, Ink & Dagger, and the Locust et al. I guess this is called hardcore by people nowadays who've never heard Black Flag. I call it S-H-I-T. This sucks, and I wanna know what they're so mad about. Did Mommy put them on restriction again for not mowing around the satellite dish? This is just so played-out and weak. Piss weak. Crap like this makes nice musical surprises (like the Starlight Mints, Dr. Octagon, Grandaddy, Badly Drawn Boy, Outkast, or Milemarker) that much better. 'Okay, were gonna play these bendy, de-tuned, minor chords, and you just holler about how your dad's brother put his sweaty hand in your sleeping-bag at camp one year. Then we'll be on Emptyvee and get laid. Yeah!!' Wow, they're even posing on some bleachers in the lil cd booklet. Don't get me started! Here is a sample of the 4th grade English homework the "singer" forgot to turn in, and instead made into lyrics (Scream this at your best friend, for no reason. Then you'll be 'hardcore'): "I try to convince myself we weren't like that, but we were so young, but so old."

I sense that maybe they were "emo" before that went the way of the buffalo too (about a fourteen month life-span). What are the lemmings, I mean, fans, gonna jump on next? Can a full-fledged disco revival be far off? The National Acrobat: decent name. It's kinda cool, actually. Too bad they blow so amazingly hard.

© 2002 - Jason Thornberry