Every month, Cosmik Debris brings you many CD and record reviews, but the writers manage to find a little time for other pursuits, like reading, going to movies and watching videos. That's where Everything Else In Review comes in.


MOVIE: Undercover Brother
Starring: Eddie Griffin, Chris Kattan,
Denise Richards, Aunjanue Ellis, Billy Dee Williams
Directed By: Malcolm D. Lee
Screenplay: John Ridley and Michael McClullers
Music: Stanley Clarke
Reviewed by Rusty Pipes

You don't have to be black to love Undercover Brother, though at first glance it seems like you might want to brush up on your funkified 70's bad-self before you see it. The good news is that it's a gut-laughing good time and amazingly it does it all with nary a fart joke or even calling the women "bitch." The most risqué thing is some pot jokes, and oh yes, the cat-fight scene which will probably be what UB is remembered for most.

Eddie Griffin plays our Afro encrusted hero, Anton Jackson, a man so fixated on the 70's that he's still playing his Funkadelic in a gold Cadillac convertible. Griffin is obviously at home in the role and will soon overtake Chris Tucker or even Eddie Murphy if this turns into a franchise. Jackson works for a secret organization (of course) called the B.R.O.T.H.E.R.H.O.O.D., and his mission is to save the first African American Presidential Candidate, Colin Powell, no, General Boutwell (Billy Dee Williams) from destruction by The Man.

Only a conspiracy nut could come up with a plot like this, or maybe a whining pot-smoking Conspiracy Brother (David Chappelle) who just may be right about why the Black Man is being kept down. Fortunately there is at least one sane person in the Brotherhood -- a woman, Sista Girl (Aunjanue Ellis) -- who has her hands full making sure Anton and the rest of the Brotherhood males don't get mind-control fried chicken supplied by The Man. We see him only in silhouette and we know he's got a reason for keeping the Black Race down, but somehow it's never explained. His henchman Mr. Feather (Chris Kattan) seems to enjoy carrying out The Man's plots and yet can't seem to keep his ass in control whenever the funk gets laid down. White She-Devil (Denise Richards in all her Barbarella/young Jane Fonda glory) is more successful than Mr. Feather at co-opting our Brother when he's actually Undercover, but ultimately even she can't resist the appeal of Black.

The movie draws all of its appeal by doing great sendups of one 8-track stereotype after another, from platform shoes, to O.J. to the Matrix, yet there is a definite plot to follow and yes, it turns out there are good white guys too, so its militancy is all in fun.

I won't explain it, but the thing that will make you most squeamish in UB is mayonnaise. And watch out, the hot sauce is deadly. Deadly funny that is.


(C) 2002 - Rusty Pipes



TV: 24
Tuesdays, Fox
Reviewed by Bill Holmes

While 24 first intrigued viewers with its concept - twenty-four one-hour episodes playing out an entire day in real time - it solidified its position as the best new show on television by delivering the goods every week. If you haven't seen this show, or jumped on board too late to follow the plot from the beginning, there's good news and bad news (see below). But with The X-Files ending its run and older shows like NYPD Blue showing their age, there are few shows on commercial television worth your time. This is one.

The premise involves an agent working for CTU (Counter Terrorist Unit) in Los Angeles, where they have received information regarding the possible attempt on the life of a presidential candidate. Complicating matters, the candidate, who leads in the polls, is black - is this a political or racial issue, or both? The fact also arises that a traitor exists somewhere in the CTU organization, and as the agent in charge tries to deal with this pressure he finds out that his daughter has disappeared. Thus starts "the longest day" of his life. Events take place in "real time," and there is enough activity that we don't have to spend a third of the season watching people sleep. In fact, several of the characters show the effects of sleep deprivation towards the latter part of the "day," which leads to some interesting circumstances.

The performances are (for the most part) believable and consistent, anchored by Keifer Sutherland's central role of agent Jack Bauer. His character ran the gamut of emotions, from the fragility of his marriage and kidnapping of his wife and daughter to the tense scenario at the workplace, where betrayal and deception are at every turn. His ability to communicate the anguish and uncertainty, tempered by resolve and moral strength, won Sutherland a well-deserved Golden Globe award as Best Actor. Dennis Haybert is also excellent as presidential candidate Senator David Palmer, whose family agenda (featuring a strong Penny Johnson Herald as his scheming wife) is juxtaposed with his pursuit of victory in the California primary... all the while knowing he is the target of an assassination attempt. Those who know Haybert only as Pedro Cerrano in the Major League movies are in for a real treat. Other strong performances are turned in by Sarah Clarke as Nina, Jack's assistant; Leslie Hope as Bauer's wife; and Zeljko Ivanek (always excellent in Homicide) as one of the conspirators. Some late-season stunt casting included a solid turn from Dennis Hopper, although he must have gotten the accent at a second hand store.

While occasionally the plot lines took huge risks to keep the tension afloat - really, how many times can a character be kidnapped in one day? - there are enough plot tangents and subtle twists to keep the viewer glued to the seat week after week. As with many good screenplays, we are privy to the thoughts and actions of many of the characters and see pitfalls and dangers that they do not - hence the suspense factor. But credit the writers with enough ingenuity to hide enough of the information in plain daylight so that even the astute observer can be surprised. Clichés were also avoided - the scene with Palmer and his young aide in his hotel room and the final scene of the last episode were two that could have easily gone the other way (and on other shows, they usually do). I realized that I am so conditioned to mediocre writing that I almost expected them to. While I'd love to list several key plot points and well-written plot threads, to do so would be a disservice to those who have not yet seen the program. If you have seen it, you don't need me to remind you. If you haven't seen the show, you'll thank me later for my discretion.

24 was a show that had to be taped - not only could I not afford to miss an episode for the sake of plot continuity, but frequently I would watch episodes a second and third time to piece together the plot elements as I second-guessed my own theories. I never got tired of this show for a moment, and at its end I wished there were another twenty-four episodes coming along right behind it. The show has been renewed for the fall season, and although this story arc is virtually resolved, there are enough situations left open that several storylines could be expanded upon as the new ones arise. Why Fox isn't re-running the series in its entirety over the summer is beyond me, but the better news is that all twenty-four episodes will be released on DVD in September, just in time for review before the new season starts. I will be first in line to buy it.


(C) 2002 - Bill Holmes



DVD: Harry Potter & The Sorcerer's Stone
Dir: Chris Columbus. Starring Daniel Radcliff,
Emma Watson, Rupert Grint and Robbie Coletrane.
Warner Brothers Home Video - 152 minutes
Reviewed by DJ Johnson

TOO many words have been written to describe the plot of this movie already, so I'm not going to get into that unless I have to. Suffice to say Harry is a wiz of a wiz if ever a wiz there wuz. I also didn't read the books, so I won't be joining the group of bookies that want to grouse all day. "Hey, how come Harry didn't go down to the main hall and hide for three hours and blah blah blah blah blah" where's my damned BASEBALL BAT!?! It's a movie! It's already long. If the filmmakers followed the book word for word your ass would still be in the theater seat and you'd be whining about how bloody LONG the movie is. It's an exciting and interesting opportunity for escapism.

Let's talk about the DVD then. I'm reviewing the standard version, modified to fit a typical television screen, so I can't tell you about the wide screen version. You should know about this version, however, because this is the one you're most apt to find in the impulse aisle at department and grocery stores for 15 dollars, while those who buy their DVDs online will almost certainly find the wide screen version. Despite the obvious flaws of a standard version the film looks wonderful, and that magical place known as Hogwarts comes alive on your screen in vivid colors and minute details. The sound is adequate if vanilla Dolby and does not detract from the movie one bit.

Using your remote control you can move around through a 3-D mockup of Hogwarts, or at least a very limited segment of it, which is quite entertaining. There are several things to examine and do and the graphics are nicely done. You can also explore Hagrid's cottage, go shopping for owls and wands in Diagon Alley, wittingly or unwittingly take part in a great big advertisement for their bizzare-flavored jelly beans (brainwashing yourself by pointing at the various beans and hearing a voice say "Blueberry... YUM!" or "Booger. YUK!" If you want to go out and buy them after that, fine, but I'll never be a dinner guest at your house. There are puzzles to solve and spells to cast and items to find, and... so I'm told... if you are the sort that can do these things, you'll find the Sorcerer's Stone and unlock the secret area in which seven deleted scenes are kept. I'd love to see the deleted scenes, but even in the old days, when Infocom text games like Zork were hot, I couldn't get past "You're standing in a clearing. What do you do?" I'll never see these scenes unless I let a kid solve the damned puzzles for me. And even then I can't get back to them to show them to friends without the kid because you have to solve the puzzles and find the objects and cast the spells and eat the boogers or whatever it is every time you want to watch the stupid scenes! The door closes after each use! I just want to Watergate it with some masking tape, but this is the digital world we're talking about here, so I'm stuck paying blood candy to a kid to get me to the deleted scenes whenever I want to see them. %&#$!!

I'm told you can also learn to play Quidditch, the official sport of Hogwarts, but I'm still stuck on trying to get to those scenes. There's more if you have a DVD-ROM drive, which allows disc 2 to hook you up via the Internet to other Potter fans with whom you can exchange Owl Mail. You can also collect Wizard Trading Cards and screensavers, and semi-kinda experience being sorted by the Sorting Hat. Of course, we adults, uh, we don't care about kid stuff like that and only watched the movie to provide guidance for our kids in the first place, so we only care about the interviews with the film makers, also included on disc two. I'm sure there are features I've missed here. I'm just an adult. But I'm going to find me a kid to crack into that vault of deleted scenes, and then I'll turn the kid loose on the rest of disc 2. Maybe I'll report back to you. For now, let's just say my professional assessment is... they put a lot of stuff in here. A lot of stuff.


(C) 2002 - DJ Johnson



DVD: Joy Ride
Director: John Dahl
Starring: Steve Zahn, Paul Walker,
Leelee Sobieski, Ted Levine
CBS/Fox Home Video - 96 minutes
Reviewed by Bill Holmes

The Movie:
Imagine a combination of Steven Spielberg's classic Duel with the thriller I Know What You Did Last Summer and you have the formula for the taut suspense film Joy Ride. Director John Dahl, whose stellar pedigree includes The Last Seduction and Red Rock West, mixes thrills, action and humor in this highly enjoyable and well-paced film. Where many "chase" films build to one big climax or spend too much time exploring unnecessary plot deviations, Dahl quickly establishes the characters and their motivation and then lights the fuse. There are several genuine jump-out-of-your-seat moments and even subtle and clever homage paid to classics like Psycho and Halloween. And in the imitation is flattery camp, a current television commercial for a certain credit card was clearly ripped off from one of the suspenseful (and funny) scenes early in the film.

Paul Walker and Steve Zahn play brothers travelling by car to pick up friend Leelee Sobieski, and while fiddling with a CB player, decide to play a cruel prank on an unsuspecting trucker named Rusty Nail. Oops! Seems Rusty doesn't like to be trifled with, so he decides to teach our heroes a lesson in payback. A long lesson! Sobieski is little more than eye candy here, but Walker and Zahn play off each other very well and are convincing as siblings with issues. Zahn especially shines, using the comic flair he displayed as Lenny in That Thing You Do. But it's the unseen Ted Levine - truly one of the most underrated actors in film - who elevates this movie to an entirely different level. Using only his voice, he transcends Rusty Nail from a pathetic (and sympathetic) lonely trucker to a bitter and vengeful psychotic. His range is incredible.

This isn't Dahl's best film by any means, but he knows how to keep the action moving and doesn't take everything so seriously. Because of this, you'll forgive the few occasions where a character does something stupid (or events coincide unrealistically). Let's just say that while no one runs from a monster wearing high heels or investigates the growling noise in a dark basement armed only with a flashlight, a smart person would have bailed long before these guys try to.

The Look And Sound:
There are a lot of loud bangs and booms throughout the film, but the tension is also built upon squeaking floorboards and breaking twigs. Thankfully, the sound is outstanding, with solid separation and good use of the secondary speakers. The characters are driving across Utah and Colorado, so the panorama of the American West adds flavor to the mix, yet the darker scenes (night, hotel rooms, etc.) are equally vivid. Definitely one movie you will want to play at a higher volume.

The Extra Stuff:
Amazingly, four alternate endings! Commentary (very good), deleted scenes, trailer, a "making of" featurette and - best - the voice auditions for the part of "Rusty Nail"

The Recommendation:
Thrillers don't replay as well as comedies, but I'd still slot this in your "should purchase" list. There are also a lot of extras for the price, and rather than lend this to a friend you'll probably prefer to watch it again in their company. Even though you know what's coming, getting there is half the fun.


(C) 2002 - Bill Holmes



DVD: Tesla
Time's Makin' Changes: The Videos & More
Universal Music & Video - 93 Minutes
Reviewed by DJ Johnson

Yes, they had heavy metal dude hair and they roamed that video-friendly metal age known as the 1980s, but all similarities to the rest of the metal rat pack end there. Time's Makin' Changes: The Videos & More should be shown to your Tesla-Virgin friends in this order: "Need Your Lovin'" first, then "Edison's Medicine," then start from the beginning and play the whole DVD.

Weird way to watch a DVD, you're thinking, but there's a method to my madness.

While every other 1980s metal band grabbed at every cliche, showed every woman to be a big-boobed bimbo because God forbid a sexy woman be smart enough not to have indiscriminate sex with a drugged-out musician, and competed to see who could make the most annoying videos, Tesla just let themselves be filmed playing their music, for the most part. For "Need Your Lovin," however, the band parodied the entire genre of hard rock video by including just about every kind of shot that was popular at the time (most of which remain popular today). You see vocalist Jeff Keith singing, surrounded by bouncing girls in bikinis, with the words "Standard bimbos around singer shot" and the slightly blurry, dark, but colorful image of Keith singing with guitarist Frankie Hannon whimsically strumming away against a wall with the words "Standard artsy-fartsy shot." Your friend will know right off the bat that this was a band not taking part in the big lie. They weren't against dramatic performance in a video, they just didn't want to be cliche about it. "Edison's Medicine" is a perfect example. Every moment of that video, from the frustrated and sometimes sad expressions of the musicians to the black and white photographs and the lettering that appears on the screen, is designed to educate the viewer about Nikola Tesla, the band's namesake and the man who invented a great many things, including radio, which was stolen from him by Thomas Edison.

Ah, by now your friend has a solid respect for Tesla. He's seen the humor. He's seen the sincerity. He's heard the powerhouse playing of every member of the band. It's safe to start from the beginning, where interviews with the band tell the whole story beginning with their signing with Geffen and the first few videos show a bunch of guys with embarrassingly sculpted haircuts and some makeup on the face. Hey, whatever it takes it to get the ball rolling. They quickly became their own band and did it the way they wanted to do it, and this DVD takes you down memory lane to revisit most of those great videos, including all nine from their two most successful albums, Psychotic Supper and The Great Radio Controversy. With sixteen vids in all and a bunch of short interview clips tying them together, it tells the Tesla story quite well. The DVD extra features allow you to separate the package to watch videos individually or continuously without the interviews, or, if you prefer, you can just watch the interview blurbs. There's also a discography so your friend, the brand new Tesla fan, can get out there and consume.

Video List:

Modern Day Cowboy * Little Suzi * Gettin' Better * Heaven's Trail (No Way Out) * Hang Tough * Lazy Days Crazy Nights * Love Songs * The Way It Is * Signs * Paradise * Edison's Medicine * Call It What You Want * What You Give * Stir It Up * Need Your Lovin' * Try So Hard


(C) 2002 - DJ Johnson



TV: The Shield
Sundays, FX
Reviewed by Bill Holmes

Somewhere between the urban drama of NYPD Blue and the urban drama of The Sopranos lies the urban drama of The Shield. Or, put another way, somewhere between the limitations of commercial television and the freedom of HBO lies the gray area of the FX channel. The Shield is a rough, violent and exciting drama set at a police station house in a rough area of Los Angeles. Michael Chiklis plays hard-bodied cop Vic Mackey, a character so vicious and ruthless that you'll forget all about Chiklis' former title role in The Commish. While he's receiving kudos for his uncompromising performance as a corrupt cop with his own moral dipstick, he's also bathed in a swarm of protest from those who feel the show glorifies violence and drug use while painting an unrealistic picture of an inner city precinct. I doubt that the negative flak bothers him; accepting the role of John Belushi in the reviled Wired probably honed his thick skin years ago. Chiklis is electric in the role; his Mackey is a coiled spring wound around a ticking time bomb.

Like Denzel Washington's character in Training Day, Mackey sees himself as a necessary player in a system where the law isn't strong enough to fight against those who only use it for an umbrella when things go wrong. He'll take advantage of fellow officers if need be, as long as he's able to rule his turf and profit from it. If someone attacks a member of his squad - be they inside or outside the department - they are dealt with quickly and severely. He permits certain self-serving infractions and allows certain perpetrators to survive because he can control them, and thus, the competition. "You only exist because I let you" he tells one drug dealer, letting him know that despite their apparent relationship it's all business with Mackey and his strike force team.

The station house is run by an ambitious Captain who tries to leverage his position for greater gain. He sees Mackey as a threat on both levels and would love to bring him down, yet he knows he needs the Mackeys of the world to survive and keep some semblance of peace in the district. Fellow members of the elite squad are like "made men," in on the takes but clearly deferring to Mackey as capo. The officers and detectives run the gamut from those who turn their heads to naïve patrolmen. Mackey is married with two children, one autistic, and a wife who probably knows better. He's also playing around with one of the policewomen, a fact not unnoticed by a fellow detective who wishes he were so lucky. CCH Pounder, as a veteran detective, and Michael Jace, as a gay policeman struggling with his beliefs, are standouts in a solid ensemble cast. Miami Vice fans will recognize John Diehl in a critical supporting role as Mackey's mentor, Assistant Chief of Police Ben Gilroy.

Creator Shawn Ryan honed his chops writing for Nash Bridges, and is more than ably assisted by writer/producer Scott Brazil (Hill Street Blues, Nash Bridges, among others). The format of The Shield is similar to Homicide and the many Steven Bochco cop dramas, where several plot lines run throughout the season, but most episodes can be watched out of sequence with minimal loss. FX also airs each episode three or four times during the week to make viewing convenient for the VCR-deprived. Repeat episodes are airing during the summer in anticipation of the second season premiere in October.

The pace is fast, the cuts sometimes jarring, and the soundtrack oozes absolute urgency. And while the violence, language and general tone of the show might be too harsh for the everyday audience, those viewers seeking challenging and unique programming would be wise to tune in.


(C) 2002 - Bill Holmes



CONCERT: Mike Watt
Venue: Dante's
City: Portland, OR
Date: June 9, 2002
Reviewed by Erick Mertz

An air of eager anticipation surrounded Sunday night's Mike Watt show in Portland. In every watering hole of the hipster persuasion - from Captain Ankeny's Well to the Shanghai Tunnel - questions were bandied about, from the analytical 'What songs will Mike Watt play?' to the general 'What Mike Watt would show up?'

To answer the latter first, the Mike Watt who took Dante's dark tiny stage was exuberant, animated and a thoroughly raucous showman. Appropriately clad in a plaid blue flannel, Watt put on a show that would tire most performers half his age. When not pounding on or twirling his bass, he led his three piece band through fast, funky punk rock. It also bears mention that this was billed by Watt as the 55th show of his current tour.

As for material, Watt spanned almost thirty years of music in his nearly two-hour set, deftly weaving classic Minutemen material like "Anxious Mo-Fo" and "Theater is the Life of You" in with his current works. He found moments to pay significant homage to his contemporaries, covering Television, the Stooges' blistering "TV Eye" and revving up Lou Reed's moody classic "Caroline Says." With crowd already in a skull bobbing frenzy, Watt announced a good bye to the late Dee Dee Ramone, then paid musical tribute by racing the audience through a long, spacy encore.

When the music was done, Watt thanked the crowd for coming and eagerly shook hands. He hauled a bag of T-shirts onto the stage and said with genuine modesty, "There's all kinds of work" as he began selling to his willing fans. Some time later, it was back in the van and on the road again for a musician who seems to understand what that really means.


(C) 2002 - Erick Mertz



DVD: Novocaine
Director: David Atkins III
Starring: Steve Martin, Helena Bonham Carter,
Laura Dern, Elias Koteas, Scott Caan
Artisan - 95 minutes
Reviewed by Bill Holmes

The Movie:
Director David Atkins tries to improve upon the film noir atmosphere by injecting it with black comedy, and while there are occasionally genuinely funny moments, the decision to satisfy both masters ultimately sinks the project. Steve Martin plays a dentist with a prosperous practice, doting (but annoying) fiancée and a seemingly normal life. Enter femme fatale Helena Bonham Carter, almost reprising her role from Fight Club except this time she's calling the shots. Why anyone would toss away everything for a piece of tail - and fairly odd and questionable tail at that - is beyond me, but that's the basic premise behind far better movies so I won't argue. Add a scheming gold-digging brother, a semi-psychotic boyfriend, missing drugs, blackmail and the ever-present methodical police to the mix and you have a hellish world just one mistake away - and Martin's dentist jumps in with both feet.

That Martin's prim and ordered life is "numb" is only one of the ironic facts about this screenplay, which does take a couple of unpredictable and challenging twists that veteran filmgoers will find refreshingly different. Of course, you'll have to sift through a boatload of coincidence and contrivance to get there, but there are some very good moments. Elias Koteas and Scott Caan (as the aforementioned brother and boyfriend) add able support alongside Laura Dern's whining girlfriend, but the plot revolves around the cat and mouse game between Martin's desperate dentist and Carter's sultry vixen. Kevin Bacon adds a hilarious character role as an actor prepping for a film role by riding along with the police.

The Look And Sound:
Novocaine is shown in widescreen and is well shot, with good ambient sound and clear dialogue. Then again, this isn't Saving Private Ryan, you know.

The Extra Stuff:
The usual trailer, a director's commentary, deleted scenes and "Bitten," a feature about teeth (key spoiler to the plot content here - as always watch these after the movie!). Interesting stuff, nothing that stands out enough to sway the value of the disc.

The Recommendation:
You'd probably walk right by this one anyway, as the cover art does nothing to imply the contents within. Matter of fact, you might think it's a repackage of Little Shop Of Horrors! Worthy of a rental when the better films are out of stock, but not good enough to recommend a purchase or even a second viewing.


(C) 2002 - Bill Holmes