ROXIE
Roxie's Make-Out Party (Pillow Talk)
Reviewed by Jason Thornberry

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Roxie comes out running, sweating, and smiling with a chummy singalong (the title track), but bite Weezer on the dick hard enough that Rivers Cuomo deserves yet another set of royalty cheques. Things get especially boring when Roxie throw some unnecessary piano plinkies onto "Baby, Goodnight," and drape the track in extra loud doubled vocals. First time in a studio, boys?

This was practically an exercise in how not to sound, especially when they'd do the loud/quiet shtick for the twelfth time (some day there will be a Weezer-clone version of This Is Spinal Tap).

Just give Roxie tattoos, lip rings, and studded belts, and they could go platinum tomorrow! They've even got the dual guitar solos that instantly made me think of calling my grandmother, only she's dead, so I made the bed, washed some dishes, and dumped my trash. Why is the last track 11 minutes long? Good thing I don't have to sit though it. There are only so many ways to say something is without merit before your review devolves into name-calling, so I'll stop here...

RATING: D-

[Pick this up at http://www.roxietheband.com/.]

© 2003 - Jason Thornberry