Movie: Constantine
Directed By Francis Lawrence
Written By Kevin Brodbin and Frank Capello
Starring Keanu Reeves, Rachel Weisz (Warner Bros.)
Reviewed by Rusty Pipes

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Comic books seem to be providing Hollywood with some of the best escapist action stories these days and Constantine, based on the DC/Vertigo comic book Hellblazer, is no exception. If you have any love for a supernatural thrill ride, it delivers the goods quite well.

John Constantine is a kind of film noir exorcist prowling the streets of LA to keep us safe from the clutches of creatures from the netherworld. We first meet him as he frees a young girl from a demon's clutches, but it isn't a routine possession -- there's big doings afoot. It seems that the Spear Of Destiny, the 2000 year old Roman weapon that pierced Christ on the cross, has been found again. A Mexican incubus is bringing it to The City Of The Angeles in order to free demons to walk the Earth directly. Meanwhile a regular LA police detective, Angela, is distraught over the death of her sister and seeks out Constantine's help, because, as all Catholics know, if you commit suicide you go straight to Hell. Her sister's suicide can't be what it seems though.

Director Francis Lawrence has a good feel for the material and has made sure that the production is rivetingly vivid with plenty of state-of-the-art graphics. The plot however is an unlikely amalgam composed of equal parts of The Exorcist, Chinatown and Raiders of the Lost Ark (yes, Nazis had hidden the Spear). Oh and don't forget Dogma because there's a jealous angel too, all pissed off that God seems to love us humans more than angels. Okay, so the plot's preposterous and full of welded-on bits from other movies. At least we don't have to contend with too much wire-fu stop action leaps; you know, what's become known as a "matrix" move. Also to his credit, Lawrence gets in a couple expertly timed chuckles, just enough to let you know this is still entertainment.

At least we don't have to worry about handing out Oscars for acting in this kind of movie. Keanu's going for Clint Eastwood's don't-mess-with-me-I'm-seething-inside whisper in most scenes, but at least he has Rachel Weisz helping him through the rough spots as both Angela and her dead twin Isabel. Plus there are quite a few good secondary characters, especially Tilda Swinton as Gabriel, Shia LaBeouf as John's driver, and Djimon Hounsou as Midnight, the token voodoo master. The best though is Peter Stormare who does a short but excellent turn as Satan.

Call it LA Conferential, because the movie's still a mystery at heart and while it stretches its own supernatural logic at some points, it still has a lot going for it.

The Skinny:
Did I enjoy the movie? Helluva ride, and I do mean HELL.
Would I go to see it again? I'll be watching it with a zombie-like stare on cable for years to come.

© 2005 - Rusty Pipes