By John Sekerka

Last month a fella by the name of Pig (no really, you can look it up) wrote about great Canadian songs. And being Canadian, I thought I would add my two Queen covered cents. As you may have noticed. Most of the Pig's choices came from the black and white sixties, which is all fine and good, but I wasn't even in the country then (another story, another time). And as with most folks, the songs we all cherish are from our misguided youth, so I will regale with a list spanning that atrocious decade some refer to as the eighties. These are by no means the best Canuck tunes ever, and the time span means exclusion for such nuggets as Leonard Cohen's 'The Partisan' and The Sadies 'Eastwinds', but there ya go, eh.

These are tunes I loved at the time, and can still stomach decades later. Suffice to say, it is a short list.

Number one:
The Rheostatics: 'The Ballad of Wendell Clark Parts 1 & 2' - 1987 Without a doubt, The Rheostatics are the quintessential Canuck band. They play quirky original music that ranges from heart-wrenching to hilarious, and have produced a bevy of classics. 'Wendel Clark' is a stomping fun romp of rockinroll that has a big red maple leaf all over it. You gotta love a band that calls it's debut album 'Greatest Hits'.

Number two:
Dik Van Dykes: 'Lazlo' - 1986 The Canadian Cramps, though a lot funnier, The Dik Van Dykes stormed the college scene, and quickly stormed off, leaving a couple of brilliant records and a batch of irresistible songs. This band sings of curling, garage sales and name-checks hockey player Harold Snepsts. 'Lazlo' may not be their most remembered tune, but it swings the most, has a killer garage guitar riff, and chilling female backing vocals. A perfect barn-burner. Could only happen in Hamilton.

Number three:
The Demics: 'New York City' - 1980 A one hit wonder in the early eighties, The Demics' tour de force found it's way on to influential alternate Toronto radio station CFNY and became a local anthem. Produced by Chris Spedding, it's a slow, meandering dirge, way out of place with the fast-paced pogoing going on all around, but captures the mood of the times, when music was fresh again, and everyone was dreaming of CBGB's and the Big Apple.

Number four:
Three O'Clock Train: 'Muscle In' - 1987 Way out of time, Mack Mackenzie and the Train made spine tingling, real depression alt.country records when the kids were digging synth new wave from the UK. A tough sell in ultra chic Montreal at the time. 'Muscle In' is a hard choice from several deserving odes, but it's the longest and perhaps the meatiest of the lot.

Number five:
Skinny Puppy: 'Dig It' - 1986 I still remember thrashing about to this beast: a horrific taste of industrial gothic fuelled by tribal percussion. This was Canada's Bauhaus, except a lot scarier. Best known for their absurdest and confrontational live shows where singer Ogre would always meet a very realistic and gory end. Skinny Puppy never managed to capture that horror on record. 'Dig It' comes close, and it's damn catchy to boot.

Number six:
Young Canadians: 'Hawaii' - 1980 Led by a snotty Art Bergman, The Young Canadians were one of the brash young punk bands from the west coast. Their stay was short-lived and were largely overshadowed by D.O.A., but they gave us a classic, hilarious punk anthem in 'Hawaii' that has a remarkable shelf life, and is still being covered on a regular basis by new bands discovering their Canuck punk roots.

Number seven:
Neil Young: 'Shots' - 1981 Not out of place on this list, 'Shots' is a spectacular, wildfire slab of rawk spewed out by Young in one of his exploratory moments. The whole Reactor album, while hosting a number of excellent moments, was ridiculed for it's heavy handed metal tendencies. What folly. 'Shots' remains one of Young's classic guitar thrashers, begging for rediscovery.

Number eight:
The Nils: 'Bandito Calling' - 1986 Another Montreal band featuring brothers at the helm (like the Three O'clock Train), The Nils made a couple of riveting records before being snuffed out under record business mismanagement. Their driving songs sounded much like the melodic side of HŸsker DŸ, but with a youthful edge. 'Bandito Calling' is a raw piece of rock riding a series of simple but impeccable hooks.

Number nine:
Deja Voodoo: 'Big Scary Daddy' - 1985 A scary psychobilly duo from Montreal that not only made rip-roaring records, but through their Og label and their wonderful Voodoo BBQs, provided an outlet for a flourishing underground scene. Their minimalist, one minute blasts are stuff of legend, and 'Big Scary Daddy' swings the most.

Number ten:
Nobby Clegg: 'Essay, My Dad' - 1981 Another one hit nugget that found air time on CFNY, 'My Dad' is a drown in my beer downer about no future blue collar desperation narrated coldly in a thick English accent set to a heavy rain background. Who were these guys, and what were they thinking?

Number eleven:
Slow: 'Have Not Been the Same' - 1986 A pretty good song, and makes it to the list more on reputation. Slow were hated everywhere in Canada, and if they could get their shit together, they would have been hated world wide. I saw them. I hated them. The lead singer, a kind of Jim Morrison type spent most of his energy antagonising. Slow are most famous for a fiasco, over-exposure appearance at Vancouver's Expo, where a near riot ensued and shut down the whole event. Cool. On record the band is sketchy, and 'Have Not Been the Same' is clearly their opus: a guttural cry of guitar mayhem that would fall nicely into the grunge pigeonhole years later.

It would be remiss not to mention some of the other fine performers of the day like Jerry Jerry and the Sons of Rhythm Orchestra, Mary Margaret O'Hara, The Doughboys, No Means No, The Forgotten Rebels, The Diodes, Nash The Slash, Pointed Sticks, Martha and the Muffins, Shadowy Men on a Shadowy Planet, The Gruesomes, Condition, Ray Condo, SNFU and of course Teenage Head (which even the Pig regaled), so there.


(C) 2001 - John Sekerka