BARBIE
Hit Mix (Kid Rhino)
Reviewed by Holly Day

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God, if I ever turn into one of those women who starts ranting about how Barbie is responsible for the women getting in touch with their femininity or helping empower girls by presenting them with a wide variety of career choices during their formative years-God, if I ever turn into one of those women, please kill me. Barbie has and always will make me sick, with her blank, vapid, painted-on eyes with accompanying painted-on eye makeup, her bizarrely unnatural, porno-inspired body, and the massive amounts of cheaply-manufactured consumer dogma that accompanies even a single purchase of these plastic toys probably made by Chinese prisoners. Not surprisingly, this disc of music attributed, I guess, to Barbie's band, is bland and mellow, with just the slightest touch of "rock" and Vocoder to pass itself as being cutting-edge to a six-year-old. There's even a slight touch of unnecessary adultness to these songs, with references to waiting for men in the rain, and dancing with men, and just being in love in general-all the things we want our six-year-olds to rush into as fast as possible. Boycott this toy! Boycott this album! Kill Barbie! Kill!

© 2004 - Holly Day