Back in July I threw my hat in the old presidential ring. I haven't really followed up on campaigning though, unless you count last month's column as an attack ad on Bush and the Republicans. You know, I think this month I'd better get back to issues or I'm not going to have any chance to get elected at all. Oh yeah, I've got issues to talk about. Just a few! But I'll focus on only one for now.
There's an old Donovan tune humming through my head lately called "The War Drags On." It was written for the Vietnam War but ever since I attended the Shadow Convention's session on the Failed Drug War, the song has taken on a new meaning.
Richard Nixon first declared a "war on drugs." That was about thirty years ago or so but its history really dates back to Prohibition, the first failed drug war. It succeeded in just one thing -- establishing mobsters in a growth business. After less than thirteen years of violence, corruption and making criminals out of otherwise respectable citizens, in 1933 they gave up trying to ban alcohol. But though there was no popular call for it, someone in the backrooms of power decided that making other drugs illegal was a good idea, the same year liquor was coming back onto store shelves. I guess someone saw them as competition. Can you say LIQUOR COMPANIES? Didn't the lawmakers learn anything from Prohibition?
Anyway, every president since has decided the New Prohibition was a fine idea and kept it going. It worked, sort of, until drug use exploded in the late 60s. Nixon decided to declare war by throwing some serious money at stopping smugglers. Then Ford, Carter, Reagan and Bush all threw money at it too. Just the other day President Bill spent $1.3 billion more of your tax money on it. Most of it bought Colombia shiny new Blackhawk and Huey helicopters to fight the war. So this is news? Maybe if people knew that we've already spent a QUARTER TRILLION DOLLARS on this war -- that's about three times the amount it took to go to the moon -- maybe, just maybe, voters might take notice and realize that this is an insane waste of resources.
Before going further, let's stipulate a few facts. Drug addiction is not good. But drugs are not all equal either; some drugs can be lived with. A perfect example is caffeine. Most everybody I know loves this drug. Most people I know can handle moderate use of many other drugs too, like aspirin, tobacco, alcohol and yes, marijuana. And in "handling" I include having the willpower to not use them at all if that's their choice. Each drug has its own quotient of problems. But when addiction problems do arise one thing is clear: putting people in prison does not cure it.
We have almost a HALF MILLION PEOPLE in prison on drug charges. If a person cannot handle whatever drug they are doing they should be helped. It won't happen in prison. "Correctional Facility" is an oxymoron; there is little or no effort to cure anyone of addiction or violence there. The cost of incarceration is far more than treatment programs and far less effective. In this era of budget cuts, the prisons should be next on the chopping block, not schools.
And now for the first time we have two 60s generation guys vying for President. Guys who have done drugs, have had friends who've done drugs and should know the Drug War is a bust. But do they tell the truth about it? NO. George and Al should be asked pointedly about the drug war in the debates because they were both criminal drug users at one time. I'd love to hear their answers. You know what? Let's put them in a virtual debate right now.
Brassy intro music fades, switch to clean cut Brokaw/Rather/Jennings drone.Drone: No applause please, that will only take time away from your candidate. Mr. Pipes of Cosmik Debris, it is time for your question to the candidates.
Pipes: Thank you, Mr. Safe-Moderator-Chosen-By-The-Two-Parties-Themselves.
--- Wait a minute. This is MY virtual debate, I can have anyone I want as moderator! Hmm, I choose Jennifer Lopez! Drone morphs to Lopez in tight spandex. ---
Virtual Lopez (cooing): I love those glasses! You may ask your question, you hunk of a philosopher, you.
Pipes: Thank you, Ms. Lopez, I look forward to our dinner after the debate. (Turns to candidates.) Mr. Gore, you have admitted smoking pot many times in the Seventies. Mr. Bush, you have deflected all inquiries about your past involvement with illicit drugs, but all the voting public KNOWS that if you didn't ever do drugs at all, you would have been all too happy to deny it long ago. With these facts stipulated and without your tacit admission we will assume that you too, have taken drugs. Drugs that were deemed illegal by both Congress and your state of residence at the time.
This question is for both of you. Let's say in those college days you were doing a favor for a friend and had purchased small amount of illegal drugs, perhaps four or five ounces of marijuana or a few grams of coke. Then you made a mistake, or a jealous friend ratted on you or a routine search after a traffic stop turned up all this in your car. You got busted. Worse, because the contraband is in multiple bags, you are convicted for dealing. And with mandatory sentencing you are now going to go to prison for FIFTEEN or TWENTY years.
My question is, if you had gone to prison for simple possession like that, do you think that you would still be before us today as a presidential candidate?"
SFX: The auditorium crowd draws in breath sharply. (George Dubya clears his throat nervously, but Al speaks first.)
Virtual Gore: This is all hypothetical and I can't ----- Oooowwww!! (Al is suddenly holding his right hand.)
Pipes: Sorry, Mr. Vice President, I forgot to tell you. Your podiums have software that detects evasive answers which triggers automatic thumb screws. Why don't you tell us what was the largest amount of pot you ever scored?
Virtual Gore: Well, once I was with a friend who scored a half-pound of Tennessee Thunderhead at a Marshall Tucker Band show.
Pipes: And if you'd been caught with him that would have sent you to jail for how long?
Virtual Gore: Oh, in some states I guess I could still be in jail, 25 years later. I, er, I don't think I'd be here now.
Pipes: Thank you. Governor Bush?
Virtual Bush: Well the fact is I was busted for drugs, and several times, but my dad always fixed it. That was the joke behind the name of my old oil company, Arbusto. People think that investors were buying influence with my dad, but he just used the money to keep me out of jail. But I don't do drugs anymore, so the answer is that I CAN be here today. I'm good!
Pipes: No. You are both criminals in the eyes of bad laws. Do you think that just because YOU never went to jail that it's fair to enforce them without mercy, to imprison others, ruining their lives for the same things you got away with? How can you support the War on Drugs and policies like mandatory sentencing?
SFX: Faint, whirring and clicking noises as if from tiny gears as Virtual George and Virtual Al's eyes wander the room, trying desperately think of a snappy answer.
Pipes: I see you can't support them. Ms. Lopez, I think these proceedings are closed.
Virtual Lopez (to me): I'll be waiting in the limo. (Turns, locking eyes with the camera.) People of America, the real George W. Bush and Al Gore were not here tonight and I'm sure they'd disavow what was said here, but their stand is clear. If you don't agree with their stand you can easily elect someone better, like Mr. Pipes here, because only a pathetically small number of American take the trouble to vote. Register today. (Fade to black.)
How many millions of people have tried drugs in this country, maybe even used them for five or ten years and then risen above it, becoming regular, law abiding homeowners and parents? TENS OF MILLIONS is the answer. I know, I'm one of them. So are George and Al. Bottom line: drugs are not for everyone, BUT SENDING FOLKS TO JAIL OVER IT IS WORSE. The Drug War has got to stop, especially in the case of marijuana. It's just not in the same class as the others. It does have medicinal uses, yes, but mostly it IS for recreation and dammit, in moderation, that's a valid use, too.
I'll say it again, non-voters far out number voters in this country. If you are eligible, register and vote this year. Vote for me, better yet vote Green, but SEND A MESSAGE.
Right now I have to go back into the Closet to freshen up a bit before jointing up, sorry, joining up with Virtual Jennifer. Thanks for reading and until next month the Closet is closed.
© 2000 - Rusty Pipes
[OFFICIAL DISCLAIMER: ...no, c'mon, light it. Well then give me the matches, man. C'm.. OH! Yeah! The disclaimer! So like... Rusty said a bunch of stuff, man, didn't he? Wait.. lemme check. I'll be right back. Might get a sandwich first, though, man. Or two. Might get two san... three sandwiches, but then I'll be back to tell you why we shouldn't be held responsible for whatever Rusty said, man. Wait here, okay? - Editor]