Bob Log III is a crazy man, and a crazy man is always fun to see perform. As a one-man-band inferno, Mr. Log plays some of the best dirty blues you'll see this side of 1950, his guitar hand twitching so fast that a German journalist once accused him of having a bionic monkey paw. I spoke to Bob Log right before he hit the road on this past summer's tour.

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Cosmik: How did you first get into playing music?

Bob: First music was actually listening to my dad. He played boogie-woogie piano all the time, and no matter how pissed off you were, he would start to play some boogie-woogie thing and the smile would just come on my face. I couldn't help it. I would say to myself, "I'm not going to smile this time! I'm not going to smile!" and a second later, I'd be smiling. But yeah, Dad played a lot of crazy piano. He still does. So that's pretty much where it all got started for me.

Cosmik: Did he play professionally?

Bob: Well, actually, we all just played a show together in Tucson this last month. He's Big Daddy Bobby. He didn't want to be called Bob Log Jr. because people kept thinking he was my son. So he goes by Big Daddy Bob. He also wanted people to realize that he's much bigger than I am, too. He wears a chicken mask on stage sometimes, when he plays, and he's got these country songs he sings. He goes through a lot of costume changes on stage, too - he's really something to see.

Cosmik: You should take him on tour with you.

Bob: I was actually thinking about it. We got offered to do a couple of shows together in Japan. I don't know if that's going to happen or not yet, so we'll have to see.

Cosmik: I know you get loads of press in Japan. Do you think you get a different reception in Japan than you do here?

Bob: Oh, everywhere it's about the same. I mean, I got people that are getting what I'm doing in both places, and they're all the same worldwide. We've all got the same TV, we're all doing the same things. But maybe, yeah, maybe I've played bigger shows in Japan, but I also play the 80-person bar in some small town outside Tokyo, too. It's just like going to Fargo. People are always amazed by my arm hair in Japan, like they'd never seen arm hair before. I didn't know I was so hairy until I went to Japan. All these little people pointing excitedly, calling to their friends, "Come look!" and rubbing my arms and making little sounds of wonder. But anyway, I don't know if I've got any worshippers in any particular part of the world. The people who want to come see me, come see me, and that's all right. People certainly aren't following me around in Japan picking up my cigarette butts or anything like that.

Cosmik: So do you have a new album coming out with this tour?

Bob: Technically, my new record was supposed to be out prior to this tour - Slide Guitar Rag. I did all my parts in the studio, and then I kind of screwed up. I made a big, huge mistake, when I mixed it, and now I've got to go fix it. So the new record won't be out until January. But I'm on the road anyway. The label was like, "Bob! Don't you want to wait 'til your record's out before you go on tour?" and I was like, "Fuck no! I want to play guitar every day."

Cosmik: What attracted you to blues to begin with?

Bob: Well, it was really rock'n'roll at the beginning, too. My dad played boogie-woogie Jerry Lee Lewis piano, and he also listened to Lightning Hawkins, and he listened to a lot of Chuck Berry, and Bo Diddley, and that was probably the first music I listened to, was the rock'n'roll that came from the blues. Rock'n'roll that took the blues, and turned it into a party, you know? There's blues, and then there's Bo Diddley, where it's like, Whoa! Or Screamin' Jay Hawkins, who took the blues and turned it into something else, some kind of voodoo party. But that's always been my favorite stuff. Later in life, I had to look even farther back and see where people like Bo Diddley got their ideas, and found Fred McDowell, and Robert Johnson, and all the real old blues guys, and see how that progressed up past Chuck Berry where rock'n'roll really began. And then when I was 12, I heard ACDC for the first time, and I got ruined. I can't stop. I got a lot of ACDC in me. But they did the same thing, too - they took the blues and turned it into a party, too.

Cosmik: So have you gotten a lot of flak from people about the titles and content of your songs?

Bob: Not really. I think the people that don't like it don't come see me, and the people who do like it are the ones who come to my shows. Occasionally, yeah. The problem is, in Boston I was there, and we were doing an interview on the radio, and they said before the show, "Okay, you've got to realize, we cannot say 'Clap Your Tits' on the radio. We can't do it." See, I kind of shot myself in the foot with this song because it's a great song, it's the first ever in the world tit-and-guitar duet, and no one can play it on the radio because I say "tits" in it. So I was like, "Okay, so I can't say 'clap your tits' - can I say 'tap your clits?'" And they said, "Sure, that's fine." I mean, which would you rather hear? But anyway, that's been the worst problem I've had with it. That, and the fact that not too many clap their tits with me. I kind of thought that everyone would be really into it, and it wouldn't be a problem, that there'd be people all over the world clapping their tits while I played guitar, but it's only happened about 22 times. And that's all right. I don't expect it, because if you try to expect it, you're gonna be disappointed. But when it happens, it's such a good thing, and we'll all remember that day forever.

Cosmik: Has there ever been any talk about slapping a Parental Advisory sticker on your records?

Bob: Nah. No one's ever threatened to arrest me if someone clapped their tits on stage or anything. Because basically, all it is is a sound. Sure, there's lots of things you can do with tits, right? We all like to touch them, and taste them and play with them, whatever, but this is a whole new idea of something we can do with them and it's not sexual at all. It really isn't, when you think about it. I mean, it's just a sound that we can make. For example, you're having a good time at a party, so you're clapping your hands, and then when you're having a really good time at a party, where ya gonna go? Clap your hands louder? No! You could try that, but instead try taking your tits out and clapping them together. See how much the fun level at the party goes up then!

Cosmik: What about all the poor women with the A-Cups out there?

Bob: Oh, no, no! This is for everyone! The guys, too. What you do is, if your tits are not big enough to clap against each other, you can clap your tits against your friend's. It's real simple. It's just chest to chest, here we go! Tit against tit - that's not cheatin' at all.

Cosmik: I know sometimes your shows get a little rowdy, what with the audience jumping on stage and dancing around you - does any of your gear ever get destroyed?

Bob: Oh, more than likely - so far, it's been nothing I can't fix. What I want most out of my live shows, though, is for someone to go straight home after seeing me play and play their guitar, and kick something at the same time, because it is so damned fun, I can't even describe it. I mean, my talking about it ain't gonna convince anyone. You've just gotta try it. Kick something real hard while you play guitar and you'll just get a big-ass smile on your face.

Cosmik: How do you keep cool on stage with all the stuff you wear, especially the motorcycle helmet and the coveralls, especially during summer tours?

Bob: Yeah, my suit. Well, basically, I sweat like a motherfucker. But I'm from Arizona, so I'm pretty much used to it. After about the third song, my whole getup just starts to remind me of home. Really, you don't want to be in the that suit longer than you need to be. It's a stinky, stinky thing. I wash it as often as I can, but man, that thing's been taking on a new scent of its own. You can come up and smell me after the show - I won't even charge you a dollar.

Cosmik: I was looking at the Fat Possum Web site, and it said that you lost your hand in a boating accident and had a monkey paw grafted on the stump. Is that true?

Bob: No. That was a - well, it wasn't a misprint, but I think what happened was in Germany, they were taking those German pictures, where I do things all blurry? And my hand really moves very quickly, and it is kind of hairy, as I said before, and I think, in the blurry photo, someone just assumed that I had a monkey hand. He was probably really high. It's just my hand's playing style. My hands moves faster than people think they should. But no, it's not bionics - it's just a normal human hand. I don't know how the hell I do it.

(C) 2002 - Holly Day